She's here!!!!

I just spoke to her. It's 1:30am here in my land.... Its 11:30pm in Utah where her plane has just landed after 30 hrs of flying.

Megan Dustin has been serving a mission for our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, for more on our beliefs go to www.mormon.org ) in the Philippines for 1.5 yrs... serving the people there and sharing some of that amazing light that she has inside of her and sharing her knowledge of how that light comes from Jesus Christ! Amazing!!!

I wasn't able to sleep (nothing new there.. haha) and had been texting Bridget in hopes that I might get a little play by play of her walking off the plane. And then, my phone silently rang while I was folding laundry in my family room and I heard her voice for the first time since September of 2009. :) She has a little accent, her voice kind of trails up at the end of her words. Cute! Proof of speaking another language for a long, long time. She sounded so good and happy, of course! I of course couldn't speak, just some tears and choking going on there but I am sure she thought I was just really sleepy.

Perhaps I can sleep now! Although I am almost finished with this basket of laundry..... so I will finish that up and then try to sleep. :)

But really? Can it get any more comforting than knowing that someone you love so much is back in this beautiful America? I have missed her so much. She is gorgeous! Happy! So kind, A true desciple of Jesus Christ and now....she is home. :)

Thanks for the call Megs!
(If you want to read about Megan's mission experiences, my mom has diligently updated it with her emails and also my brother, Josh's mission emails from Argentina..... They are sooooo inspiring and awesome! The blog is http://www.dustinmissionaries.blogspot.com/

(Now..... to wait for Joshua to get home from his mission!)

Confessions of an antisocialite

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I am an antisocial chic.

Now, why is it that an antisocial person would have the audacity to openly share such information on a blog?

That is a good question.

I have a few theories on my personal craziness:

1. admitting something sometimes helps you move beyond an issue.... not always though.
2. admitting something sometimes helps solidify and justify a certain way you behave... good or bad.
3. hmm. thats all I've got right now.

I have the small inclination that I just might need to change my antisocial ways. Not completley mind you, because that just might be catastrophic to my soul. But the inspiration is there none the less.

The inspiration is Grant. Yes it has taken my 3rd child, and 4th pregnancy-induced-permission-to -be-antisocialness.........to make me see that although I may be just fine moving through life, all protected and emotionally safe and very comfortable in my own little reality.... I may need to be... (gulp) social-ish to help him... them survive.

He is literally screaming to leave the house and play. In the morning when everyone is rushing around to get ready for school/work... he is madly running around trying to find his little shoes and coat so that he can be ready too. Breaks my heart!

Today, I did something crazy.......... I went to the gym. Why? Because I knew that he could play and that other little kids would be in there for him to have some interaction with... and because I knew that for an antisocial person I could "easily" go..... and walk on a treadmill (???) and possible lay down on a public couch (???) and take a shower (?) and give little buddy some time to play.

It was a success. I did all 3 of the things listed above plus a trip to the bathroom of course. He had so much fun! hahaha. When we drove into the garage he wasn't screaming the way he has been lately. Interesting. Its almost like............ the need for interacting with other human beings is a basic level need to survive. hhhhmmmmmm. shocking.

While I was there a really sweet mom invited me to a playgroup where Grant could play and I could.... socialize with other moms. I broke out into a cold sweat panic and lied through my teethy smile that,"That sounds really fun, we would both love that! If I am feeling ok I will try and make it." I am a strange, strange chic. I am ok with that but really...?? In my brain I think I am better off on a treadmill in my little "condition" then sitting on a chair surrounded by other moms.... strange. Dont get me wrong! I admire other mothers to no end, I watch and try to learn from all of their wonderfulness.... but to "socialize"...... its like my brain tries to click backwards to find a way out, my body freezes, and my spirit says that I should move forward. strange. haha.

Hmmm, what should I do with this new-found, "dang-it, I always knew I was weird and was ok with it but I probably need to change to help my children be a little healthier than I am....." ? Follow me? hahahahahahaha.

Perhaps...(gulp) its time for me to stretch out my chalk-lined boundaries I have set for myself a few inches. 3 inches to be exact.

Maybe I should go to the playgroup tomorrow at 9:30am. (gulp)

Perhaps I shall just stretch out my chalk line an inch.... just one.

Awareness..... it truly is the great motivator.... there is kind of no going back. Especially when improving one's self is for your chidren's sake.

dang it!!!

I'm in an incredibly good mood today!!!!!

a few reasons why:

*I dyed my hair yesterday, hate it......... its black. No there is not a picture... and there wont be one....so dont ask.
*I tried to have a good attitude about it because I knew that the people who loved me most would still think I am beautiful.
*Tay said,"Mommy its hideous."
*Halle said,"You look different Mommy, its kind of purple."
*Greg hates it and I quote, "needs more time to get use to it". :(
*****Grant hasn't skipped a beat and has still given me a hundred kisses this morning with his oatmeal/chocolate chip pancakes face. I have gladly taken them. :)

*I am in a rut, can't/wont get out of it.
* I miss the MOUNTAINS!!!!, the fresh smell of rain there, the sense of peace i get when I look at them and feel small compared to Gods power, spending time in them, feeling like they are the only sense of "home" I have after 17 years of moving to different places.
*I hate missing out on wonderful things happening in my family because we live so far away. My Bridget getting married, Megan getting home, Josh getting home, Matt and Janet's new baby, Danny's baptism, Mackenzie's b-day.....etc. etc. etc. etc.


*I'm having trouble focusing right now on what it is that I am supposed to do as a stay at home mommy.
*my dryer is broken, my purpose for being a stay at home mommy has died, staying up on laundry was my purpose I think.... hmm, didn't do that before it died.
* My baby and I were just eating jelly bellies for lunch (you can judge, I already am!) and i just fed him a "banana" flavored one and actually felt good about it for a second... then I cried.
*Said baby is still walking up and giving me kisses saying "thank you" for the "banana" and is dancing and wearing a bucket on his head!

*Motherhood requires sacrifice! Some sacrifices I dont want to make!!!!
*My running- seriously deprived of some good endorphines right now.
*My energy- really no matter what I say, fainting is not fun and then coming to, and cleaning up my own throw up on the carpet, is not "rewarding". (eeeww, sorry)
*My time- bachelors degree?, wanna finish, gonna finish, when am I going to do that?


Steph!! What else do you want to be doing though???????????

The answers are quite obvious:
Getting kisses from the cute and dirty baby, helping Tay with her Math, reading with my Halle, getting another little one who will probably love me just as unconditionally as they all do when Mommy monster comes out.

And being loved by a man who although may not like my hair, still overlooks the fact that the house is a mess, dinner is an emergency situation most of the time, my budgeting and organizing skills seriously need an overhaul and I hold him accountable for my emotions when....really!!? Was he supposed to know that he needed to like me with black hair yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!?????

Greg Ingram, I love you!!! Thank you for being the man you are!

I'm in a good mood. Because who wouldn't be? I am truly blessed.....black hair and all.

Some January fun.

How cute it this little boy! Such a Greg-mini-me. It was 100 day at school and he also wanted to get a snapshot of what he looked like on this 100th day of Halle's Kindergarten. :)

There they are.... the little people who are my world!

The princess of 100 day!!! So cute, and so smart! She loves, loves school!!! She has grown up so much this year! Oh, the places you'll go Halle!

He just finished (well in the sense that it is all in his mouth not in his hands) a brownie, and he is getting ready to make the sign for "more"!!

Happy bath time! He use to be petrified of bubbles, it was hilarious to watch! Is that mean? He is use to them now but he detests when they get on the toys he is playing with, especially his prized bouncy balls!!!

The Ice Storm...... :)

fun on the stairs with bean bags, what else do you do on day 4 of being locked inside. :)

Crazy, fun Daddy went outside with all of the little ones to give them a break, they had a lot of fun!

This picture does not do it justice. Our trampoline was so weighed down from all of the ice/snow/ice/snow combo from the last couple of weeks. So they went out and jumped on it to break up the ice and super strong Greg took the huge ice pieces and threw them over the net. Fun to watch! By the way, Grant was screaming in this picture!

Slippery, Icy slide. They had a blast!

Hahaha. Tay beginning to feel the effects of being out in the snow after not leaving the house for a while. Halle, totally loving it!!! Cute girls!

The ice storm started on Tuesday and the school systems had already canceled school for the day. Greg decided to close his office and went in and did paperwork during the day. Since Tay wasn't feeling so great anyway we just colored, watched a few movies, read books and relaxed. On Wednesday, the "officials" (whoever that is!) declared that we were on a level 3 wheather advisory and that only emergency vehicles were aloud on the roads. So since Greg was home we all just played, relaxed, and worked on some projects around the house. Greg went back to work on Thursday but school was canceled for the girls for the rest of the week. We did more of the same but we all genuinely enjoyed it. Church was even canceled on Sunday and we had our own little "church" in our family room. The girls loved it. :) We each gave a little talk and it was awesome!

Halle gave a talk on Temples and that she is glad that our family can be together forever, she even colored pictures to go with it. Cute!

Taylor read a story from the Friend magazine called "Beautiful", about a little girl who didn't like her freckles and wished that she looked like other girls who she thought were more beautiful. But then learned that Heavenly Father made her, and made her absolutly beautiful. And the girl decided to love herself because she is a daughter of God. Taylor said at the end that she loved reading the story and that she loves the freckles that Heavenly Father gave her because it makes her special. :) It was really, really sweet!

Greg just briefly explained "The Proclamation on the Family" given by our Church leaders and talked about how awesome it is to be in a family and what our different roles are. :)

I just read a couple of quotes I like about motherhood. I was talking with Halle the other day and she said that when she grows up that she is going to be a teacher! I said that she would be such a good teacher and that it would also help her to be a great mommy. She looked at me with such a confused look and said, "I cant be a mommy and a teacher, so I will just be a teacher!!" I thought I needed to do some clarifying on that issue. I told the girls that going to college and preparing themselves for a career is one of the most important things they can do, and that Heavenly Father wants them to do that! I also told them though that there will be nothing more important than being a mommy and that it will be the very best part of who they are and that it will help them to become who Heavenly Father inteded them to be. We talked about how I didn't finish my formal education before they came to me, but that when the time comes that I will finish it.

It was a great experience to have our little church at home. :)

wow, long post again. hahaha

Cant Sleep

Well, I am sure that this is just the way my other pregnancies were, but I really dont remember the whole, not being able to sleep at night kind of thing. Funny huh! I have been awake since 3am..... I should have just gotten up a long time ago. I need to go for a run and really wear myself out. Dont ya think!!? Ahhh, if only. A run would be so helpful right now. I can think so clearly during and after a run. Priorities, goals, perspective and reality come into clear view. Hmm, I need that. I wonder what would happen? Me, running, outside.... no scratch that... how about inside, on a treadmill. Would I just pass out in two seconds? That would definitly not bring clarity. Or, would I ..... amazingly feel better and run super fast (that never happend even when I wasn't pregnant, haha) and just run, and run and be healthy and......stuff. (See what I was talking about with all of the clarity and reality talk....) Anyway. Case in point. I need a run!

So, my little ones have been sick. Strep throat found its way into their little bodies and it is totally sabatoging the mood around here lately. Tay got sick on Jan 28th, it was pizza movie night and after school she had that look... and she didn't want any pizza. (!!!!!!!!??) So we waited it out through the weekend and then took her to the Dr. on that monday, the 31st. Yep, strep throat. Fun. Luckily for her, school was canceled for the rest of the week due to the ice storm. Then the little buddy got a super high fever on thursday of that week and I didnt even wait, i just took him in and had him tested so he could start the meds too. And then, Halle got sick on this monday after school, the 7th, and i just took her in yesterday and yep... strep throat. Halle never, ever gets sick. That is one nasty bug! Guess who else is running super high temps? My Greg, the birthday boy! Looks like I am going to have everyone home today. Oh, which brings me to my worry, the worry that is keeping me awake. Wow, I am long winded - eh?!

Taylor is still sick!!! When we were at the Dr. yesterday I had her check out Tay again. She got better last thursday and friday but then started running a low-grade fever again on Sun, started throwing up again, sick on Mon, Tues, Wed...... she is still having the same symptoms and has lost 3 lbs. So today she is having some blood work done to see if we can find anything. That little girl has missed two weeks of school between last week's ice storm/strep throat and this week's..... whatever it is. My mind has, of course, been coming up with it's own senarios of why she is still sick and they aren't pretty... so that is why I am here, on my blog... journaling. Not giving my mind the satisfaction of pumping scary stories into my head that just make me want to cry. hahaha. I am a funny pregnant lady, who really, really needs a run. (See what I said about reality!) Here are some pics.... FINALLY!

Dear T.V., to know you is to love/hate you!

I cant sleep. What the heck? I feel exhausted but here I am.... on my....blog? So I have a story, that I would like to think that I could say, "this is the short version)... but I dont see that happening. haha.
Since we moved to Richmond we have had a t.v. for the soul purpose of using it for movies and such but we have not had any channels on it. I have loved, loved not having the option to turn on the t.v. when I needed some extra parenting help in the last 2.5 years. haha. Well, during family movie night a couple of weeks ago, the sound went out on our little die hard of a tv.... it totally quit working. So since we had been talking about getting a new one (we bought the current tube t.v. 1 year after we were married after we saved and saved for it) it seemed like the perfect time to do so. We bought one and I felt like it was monstrous! Well, when we hooked it up we got perfect reception on 3 channels..... all PBS channels, one of which had PBS kids. I was thrilled, Greg was not, he was hoping to get a few channels so he could watch some games. The next day I turned it on in the morning and layed down since I felt nasty, and Grant, cute little buddy of mine, played and watch PBS kids... who cant resist Curious George, or Dino Train, or Sesame Street, thats what I would like to know!? After school, the girls were so excited to watch t.v. that they hurried through homework to watch Arthur and Krats Creatures. Ahh, T.V. is not so bad! Why did we wait so long to do this?..... but then.... after a week, I started to remember why. Perhaps its me.... and I would like to think that it would be different if I wasnt nasty, and sick and eternally tired right now....but it kind of became sort of a focal point and routine. "Turn on the t.v. while I do this one thing so Grant will be entertained, I feel sick... (always) so i should turn on the t.v. so he has something fun and interesting to look at and listen to while I just lay here, plus its educational." "Oh, the girls are done with there homework, lets turn on the t.v. because...of course, I feel too sick to do something fun with them and PBS kids is fun... and educational!" Plus, if homework took a little too long and they missed the chance to watch it, there would be much wailing and nashing of teeth! "And oh, I ..... feel sick, you guessed it! and all the kids are in bed and Nova is doing a special on earthquakes that I totally want to watch and its ... educational! (remember not a lot of other options). And so I sit and watch instead of................................................ everything else I could be doing and did before the t.v. came back into our lives, sick or not sick. hahaha.
Well guess what....a blessed thing happened! Greg decided after 15 days of having the monster that he really, really wanted a different one with the option of hooking up the internet... So, we packed it back up and took it back. !!! We went through total withdrawl symptoms for about an hour the next morning. After everyone left for the day, Grant ran into the family room and jabbered at the t.v., waiting for the "fun" to start and that is all it took to snap me back into my, "Oh, yeah! It doesn't matter if you feel nasty! Get on the floor and play with your little Grant because he too.... is growing and will pass this little age way too soon!!!!!!!!" So we went back to how it was before...with the little guy following me around the house to do the little chores, which he loves to do. We built a cool fort with the table and blankets with flashlights on and snacks, played with his trains, read books, played with puzzles, colored, played with legos and played with all of the balls, of course!! Really we ran out of time and then it was nap time and we both layed down because I was (really sick) but I had the best day with my little guy! When the girls got home they were bummed that the option to watch t.v. wasnt there... but we also spent more time on homework, coloring, reading and....gasp! They went outside for a little bit and played! The rest of the week has followed suit. In fact, I havent heard anything about the t.v. in two days. :)
Now... some might say that its because we have deprived ourselves of t.v. for so long that that is why it is an obsession when the option is there.... This is probably true. But, I like not having the option. There, I said it!
The t.v. will come back but now that I remember how it feels to have it.... and the flip side of not having it, there will be balance. Is it bad for my little guy to watch Curious George for a little bit after I recover from the latest battle with the toilet. (eeww, sorry) No, probably not. But then it goes off and we go on with our day of... yes, feeling sick but also doing all the fun stuff and oh, lets say,...laundry! that needs to get done. For my girls to watch t.v. after school for a little bit is not a bad thing... they are so busy as it is that its not like they even have the time to watch a ton... but its just the mindset that has changed. Yeah, this was a long, long blog.... no short story here. haha

Cute Baby! 12 weeks along

Pictures make it all so real doesn't it! Here it is with its hands up by its face

During the ultrasound the baby had its feet up in the air the whole time. I was amazed that at even this early in the process I could see the details of its toes and fingers. Its cute huh!

Hahaha. Kicking and Swatting already. Watch out Grant.... this ones gonna come and get ya! The ultrasound tech said that there is a somewhat new hypothesis that even though you cant see if its a boy or girl at this stage that there are developmental features that literally point one way or the other. She has been trying out the hypothesis and she has been right 5/7 times. Not exact but fun either way. She said girl.... which confirms what I have been feeling all along. We shall see! :)

Oh Hello.

Hello! I just thought I would write a post because its something out of the ordinary for me. I guess I am feeling a little crazy! woohoo. Watch out day, cause its gonna be exciting!
Life is good! Why? Maybe I could list my top 10 as of late.
10. The wheather has cooled off!
9. Grant ate my homemade spaghetti and he loved it! ;0
8. Greg thinks I am slightly above average. haha.
7. Tay was sick a few days ago and we got to hang out and watch a movie together. odd fav. I know
6. Halle loves, loves kindergarten, and she has a cute crush (shh, dont tell that I blogged about it)
5. My St. George marathon is only 2.5 weeks away (this could be viewed as good and bad)
4. I want to get a dog!
3. Morning devotionals as a family are making a huge impact!!!!!!!
2. Volunteering with the PTO is not as scary as I thought it was going to be
1. Grant's catheter is out, and all is well. :) heehee.

So in other words, what is not to love?! (I would post a picture..... but I am on a good streak, I wouldn't want to ruin it by "promising to update the pics"... so we will just leave this one without one.)

Time!!!!!!!?! Its almost June!

Be forwarned... there is really no journaling, just a snapshot of the last 5 months..... sort of. Little gymnast. Taylor at her gymnastics preformance. May

Halle-weeze. super gymnast! May

Mini marathon- prerace. :) Freezing cold! May

Yum!! He found the chocolate chips. This picture so doesn't do it justice! May

Time out for women!!! with John Bytheway!!!! Grant even loved him! April

One small puppy dog for her school play "Arf". One small word! Cute! April

Happy Easter with the Ingrams! So fun! Love, love the basket Kaley! April

Happy Easter! :) april

Spring Break in New Jersey with Auntie Em. :) Love you! Where are my statue of liberty pictures? Luckily everyone else took excellent pictures! March

Grant looking into the Makenzie's eyes! "I am so happy you are here... perhaps I shall eat you because you are so cute, and because I am hungry!"

Tay's rainforest project! Good job! March

Our crawling monkey...without the helmet! :) March

Happy Sweet 5th Birthday Halle! Someday our family photo books will show all of the fun we did on your special day!!! Love love love you!

My lovely helmet heads! March

Happy Birthday my love! Feb 11th. Lucky for you... I love you more than my blog could ever tell. hahahaha.

raaaawwwwwrrrrrrrr. Feb
Go Colts!!!! Feb
Tay's Bb Feb
little dude in his helmet!
Night sledding! Jan






Disneyland!!! :)We are going for speed here people... no time for journaling from me. hahahaha.