You know what I have been thinking about lately......
Groundhog Day.
Not the actual date, but the movie.
Interesting, I know.
I watched the movie a year ago with Greg for the first time. I don't think I found it super inspiring at the time, maybe just funny.
Now I do though.
????? Ha Ha!
For those of you who haven't seen it, or maybe just cant see how any parallel could be taken from it, let me defend myself... :) Bill Murray's character is a man who is actually lost and doesn't even realize it. He is self centered, mean, and unlikable (well, in my opinion). That's obvious to everyone but himself. He gets an opportunity to change in the form of being forced to live the same day over and over. He spends a lot of time failing miserably and wanting to return back to the way things were, and get out of the little town. But, it is finally when he realizes that he can use this limitless day to improve that he begins to become great. He transforms into an amazing individual, and then, he is able to wake up, and move on with the rest his life, a much improved man, and not only that, he actually buys a house in the town he so desperately wanted to get out of he loves it that much!
Like the character in the movie, We wake up each day and follow much of the same patterns that we did yesterday, either because the things we did made us happy, or because we were too lazy to do something else, or because the things were habits from the days before. There are slight variations but its about the same.
It seems as though in the midst of challenges it has to be our focus to stay out of the rut that will suck us in. To not let the sadness or the monotony of life overtake us is the greatest challenge within a challenge. It is the purpose of the trial; to find the joy, to find our true selves, to find Him, in the middle of all of it and continue forward.
The hope is that little by little, we start to become great. And love the new place that we are. That we embrace the new phase, the new us. Its hard. Its harder than I thought it would be. I don't think I necessarily love this new life without running. Its just that I use to feel as though I was constantly grappling to get back to the old Steph, the one who woke up, super excited for a hard run and whatever else the day my endless energy would bring. I am slowly getting to know a new Steph though. She doesn't run as much, she does more yoga. She is more understanding, hopefully less judgmental She sews more now.... doesn't burn as many calories as running but is rewarding in its own way. Spiritually? Yes, spiritually I believe I am closer to my Savior. Which not to say that the old Steph wasn't, but there is no way she could have gotten to this depth without taking running out of the equation.
And so, I am starting to use this limitless day to try and better myself. And maybe someday, when i wake up from this "day" I will realize that I am actually right where I wanted to be, after all.
